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Chronicles Of a Bakra (goat)

October 13, 2013

Image, humor

Day 455 ( 4 days before Eid )


My master brought me here in this big city. He has been giving me unusually large amounts of food lately. Something is certainly fishy or maybe he’s just caring for me, maybe he just loves me. Aghhhhhh ! I don’t know why have I been so insensitive for the past two months or so. For all I care he is providing me with good amounts of food and I have grown 2 glorious teeth to chew it. Maybe the teeth had something to do with emotional breakdown or maybe I’m close to puberty. But what’s good is that this big city with lights is a beautiful place. I saw a lot of lady bakras today, one of them even ‘BAAAAA d’ at me, and I’m pretty sure that is was a particularly long ‘BAAAAA’. Maybe I’ll see her again tomorrow, who knows for it’s a small world after all.

Day 456 ( 3 days before Eid )

I’m very happy today. My master has painted small pink dots on me today. It tickled a bit when he did it, but I look fabulous. He has brought me to a big gathering here. It’s a ll very dusty, and there are a lot of strangers roaming around here but I don’t care. Maybe it’s a show or circus of some sort. But reality check here, I got to see that beauty after all. And I’ve got to tell you this. She’s more awesome than she looks. I chatted to her for a long time and guess what, we’re so similar. She likes mango leaves, I do too. She likes to stand on her hind limbs, well guess who likes to do that too? Yeah, exactly. But after an hour or so she went away with a man, not her master but some other guy. A strange thing happened though, this fellow came to my master and then he came up to no. he touched my vertebral column several times and then out of nowhere, he holds my face and opens my mouth forcibly and shows the other man my teeth. Well I guess they’re proud of me.

Day 457 ( 2 days before Eid )

Okay a really weird thing happened today. This totally awesome guy came to my master.  My master though very polite but none the less argued with him for a good hour and a half. Then this awesome guy came close to be, patted my back bone several times and politely checked my teeth with the other two of my fellows standing near me, but I’m confident that he liked mine better. Then he pulls out some strange leaves from his pocket, counts them and then he hands them to my master. My master looks at me with affection, pats me on the head, next thing I know I’m walking with this totally awesome handsome guy and the other 2 of my fellows were walking with him too, the ones he checked he teeth of. We all get in a car, similar to the one in which we got here to the city. LOL ! The new master is so funny. He held my horns like he was riding the Bat Mobile. I even took a couple of pictures with him.


Day 458 ( Chand Raat )

A bit of off day today, just bonding with my fellows, the two mentioned yesterday. One of them is ‘BAAAOOO’ and the other one’s ‘BAABAAAAA’. They’re pretty cool. I think this place I’m in is a residence. Not that big, has a lot of walls though but the master is awesome. .He keeps bringing his friends and showing them my teeth. They’re proud of my teeth. I’m very proud too. The master feeds me even more, he also adorned me with pink and green bands and a bell too, what more does a goat want? I look fabulous. My master understands me, he even brings me mango leaves. But a strange thing happened to me today, one of my master’s friends kept looking at my teeth for a long time. Maybe he’s got some weird thing for animals or something. I don’t care for that sicko !


Day 459 ( Eid )

I’m getting a bit nervous today maybe its just the weather. But I don’t see ‘BAABAAAA’ today. My master has taking him some where. I think I saw some thing shiny in his hands. Okay, now I’m just imagining things. He would’ve probably taken him out for a walk or to show him to his friends, but why him? Why not me? Why so early in the morning? Huh ! I just need to calm down a bit. What is going on here ! I sat down to rest and ‘BAAAAOO’ is gone too. I’m panicking. Hey look there’s my master. He’s taking me too. Ohh I seee, we were just shifting places I guess. Heyy ! wait a minute ! Every one’s standing around. What is this ? What the hell is this ? What is going on here, why is there blood on the floor ?  What is this red substance. Hey I think I see ‘BABAA’ and ‘BAAOOO’. Hold it. No its their heads. Goddammnit !! why is every one patting me. Oh shit oh shit ohhh shittttttttttt ! Huh ! some master you are. You rat ass Bast***. Yeah you hear me, you’ll pay for this. Trust me, I know Bakras in Afghanistan ! once they hear my ‘BAAAA’ they’ll rip you open ! Okay man I’m sorry, please bro let’s talk this out. Ohhhhh Shitttttttt !!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !

  1. Sajjad Sajid permalink

    “I saw a lot of lady bakras today, one of them even ‘BAAAAA d’ at me, and I’m pretty sure that is was a particularly long ‘BAAAAA’. Maybe I’ll see her again tomorrow, who knows for it’s a small world after all…” Roger…!!!

  2. Hammad permalink

    Very nicely writtten 😀 … Awsummm

  3. Hammad permalink

    Very nicely writtten 😀 … Awsummm ….

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