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Things you get to hear in Pakistan

October 14, 2013


  • The sound guy always tries to apply the best of his accent while testing a microphone and sound levels, but all he manages at the end is :

“Hillooo, chickk, chick, one two three, tasting, hillo tasting chick one two”

  • The English teacher usually says this:

“Its mean dear i am agree with you”

  • A guest arrives and the uncle asks:

“Beta, is there a toilet at your place?” and I’m like “umm no sir, we shit at the nearby fields”

  • An extremely illiterate person in terms of English language always has this written on the back of his car:

“sorry mom said no girls”


  • A call to the pizza hut:

Asslamalaikum Pizza hut? yar pizza e banana sikha dein”

(hello pizza hut? what’s your recipe for the pizza? “
  • When you finally reach your destination:

“Aa gaye ap ?”  (you’re finally here?) 

“umm sorry bro, im still back in nibia making documentaries on the silver back gorillas”

  • So you’re 20 years old, and this unknown lady from the gathering winks at you and asks you with an annoyingly weird tricksy smile:

“So beta, when’s your plan to marry?”

“I’m thinking of merging it with your funeral, that way we can save a lot”

  • When two aunties see each other at a mart or a clothing store:

“Heyyyyy what are you doing here?”

“I was bored so i thought of hunting elephants, and probably this is a nice place to hunt elephants”


  • A common man sees a big house with nice cars and the guy walking out of it, well dressed and using a good phone, instantly assumes:

“Bohat haram ka paisa hai inkay paas, sab jahannumi hain”

(They’re the corrupt sort, may they rot in hell”

  • When you take a girl out to dinner at Mcdonalds who actually resided in a rural area but is in your city for the university education:

“What would you like to eat”

“I think mutton curry with a slicked up onion is good, oh and don’t forget the COLD DRINKS”

  1. This post was really funny. It’s past midnight, and I’m trying not to wake up my family, because I’m laughing too loudly. Keep up the good work!

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