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Things you get to hear in Pakistan

October 14, 2013

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  • The sound guy always tries to apply the best of his accent while testing a microphone and sound levels, but all he manages at the end is :

“Hillooo, chickk, chick, one two three, tasting, hillo tasting chick one two”

  • The English teacher usually says this:

“Its mean dear i am agree with you”

  • A guest arrives and the uncle asks:

“Beta, is there a toilet at your place?” and I’m like “umm no sir, we shit at the nearby fields”

  • An extremely illiterate person in terms of English language always has this written on the back of his car:

“sorry mom said no girls”

daddy

  • A call to the pizza hut:

Asslamalaikum Pizza hut? yar pizza e banana sikha dein”

(hello pizza hut? what’s your recipe for the pizza? “
 
  • When you finally reach your destination:

“Aa gaye ap ?”  (you’re finally here?) 

“umm sorry bro, im still back in nibia making documentaries on the silver back gorillas”

  • So you’re 20 years old, and this unknown lady from the gathering winks at you and asks you with an annoyingly weird tricksy smile:

“So beta, when’s your plan to marry?”

“I’m thinking of merging it with your funeral, that way we can save a lot”

  • When two aunties see each other at a mart or a clothing store:

“Heyyyyy what are you doing here?”

“I was bored so i thought of hunting elephants, and probably this is a nice place to hunt elephants”

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  • A common man sees a big house with nice cars and the guy walking out of it, well dressed and using a good phone, instantly assumes:

“Bohat haram ka paisa hai inkay paas, sab jahannumi hain”

(They’re the corrupt sort, may they rot in hell”

  • When you take a girl out to dinner at Mcdonalds who actually resided in a rural area but is in your city for the university education:

“What would you like to eat”

“I think mutton curry with a slicked up onion is good, oh and don’t forget the COLD DRINKS”

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2 Comments
  1. This post was really funny. It’s past midnight, and I’m trying not to wake up my family, because I’m laughing too loudly. Keep up the good work!

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