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The Chronicles of a Potential Terrorist (Part 3)

October 30, 2013

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part 2: ( https://usmansami.wordpress.com/2013/10/27/the-chronicles-of-a-potential-terrorist-part-2/ )

Day 106

I am so excited today. Keith is taking me tomorrow to that place he told me about 3 weeks ago. We had a suicide blast at the start of this week which caused an enormous damage. A mosque was targeted this time, yes a mosque. The authors of theses drone attacks are a bunch of goofs. No, not them, our government is a beautiful composure of idiotic brains. I mean this is just pointless. For the attackers, this is just a mere excuse that we are manufacturing terrorists here because clearly a person attacking a mosque and blowing himself up is in no way considered a Muslim, even in some of the extremist sects, which is a very rare instance. So what seems to me is that the authors of the drones are generating these suicide blasts themselves. But why? Why us? We are not doing any thing illegal here. We had families too, our children used to go to schools and leisure areas too. Aren’t we normal people? What crime did we commit? There were no deaths fortunately in the blast, just some minor injuries, as the blast did not occur in the mosque but at its gate. And not even during the prayer time. I’ve been thinking a lot about why did they choose such a time. Why not during a prayer time. It seems that the intent was not to harm anyone physically but just spread terror. I have my mind set right now on the place I’m going to visit tomorrow. Finally I’ll get to help someone, I’ll get to feel the goodness of helping the poor and the suffering. What am I thinking? Am I not poor? Am I not the one suffering in life? What has brought this change in me? I’ve been visiting the graveyard every single day for the past 106 days. If I be completely honest, my children’s graves are the secondary factor that pulls me to the graveyard, the sweet words of Quran’s Recitation being the first. Although I don’t get the meaning of the verses, still the relaxing sensation is unexplainable.

Day 108

 

Keith is wealthy man, as I found out during the 4 hour drive to Muhammad Khel, another area of Federally Administered Tribal Areas, up towards the north from my village. Mohammad Khel is one of those areas which is constantly hit by drones, just like ours but it has more recognition in the country for it is very famous for the lamb curry made at a local restaurant there, hence the reason for the rehab  camp so the NGOs working for so called charity will extract more fame. The journey was not boring, we mostly talked about the therapy and how it helped, with occasional cigarettes, smuggled from Afghanistan, Marlboro formerly known as Phillip Morris. There was not as big a camp as I expected, some 70 – 100 people residing under it temporarily until the NGOs help them find a replacement for their demolished houses in result of the attacks. Keith was right. To help them, these people just like us, is like restoring our lives, or at least trying to see the happiness in other people’s eyes which our eyes are lacking for a long time and surely which is not gonna appear any time soon. Keith and I were the only ones who were amongst the victims and were also volunteers to help others. No one knew that except us. Keith told me he had found the place about 2 months ago when a friend of his came to visit him in our village. His friend being a Muslim had a long beard, and wore thick spectacles. He wore a woolen cap at all times, or at least for a day and a half we stayed there. But there was something about this man, something very different than other Muslims. His attire and expression was not at all polite infact his voice was a bit scary. His words, never illogical as he justified every thing he said by a logic afterwards. We stayed the night at his house, a big single story house, barricaded by big fortified walls having burges in them. Barbed wire ran over them. I was surprised at this and upon my asking Keith, he told me that his friend also very wealthy, rented this place for the rehab. I woke up at night and I noticed that Keith was not present, I went to the hallway, and I heard laughter and talks from another room nearby, peeking in I saw Keith and his Big Bearded friend. Keith was drinking, I’m quite sure of that, his friend also had a glass in his hand but didn’t seem drunk and the glass was almost empty. I went back to our room and slept after staring at the roof for at least 40 minutes. When we were leaving the next morning, His friend, Mr. Daud Khan asked me that did I enjoy my stay here and how did it feel to help the others, I ddint lie, it was pretty good. After a long long time I felt alive again. And I thanked him for his hospitality and even after the little event during the night, I promised him that I will come again next week because I want to be able to make something out of my life again. Keith is not the sort of person who doesn’t get your gestures and body language quite easily. Upon his asking I told him of what I saw at night, he smiled and said, Daud Khan will never drink, but his hospitality is remarkable, as he specially arranged it for me. He was just having a soda. I believed him, or maybe I wanted to believe him. But I was certain of one thing, I would see a lot of Daud khan in the upcoming weeks as in my life, I had already started a new chapter of my life in Mohammad Khel.

 

Day 109

I have started my first Surah of Quran Today after an inspiring and amazing story that how Quran calms the heart I heard at therapy today. I want to be able to pray too, and I’m certain one day I will. I learned a very good thing about Keith today, he listened to the story of Quran very calmly and smiled at the end and clapped too. This is how a man should be. But at my shop today two of my regular customers, a gardener and Kamal Khan’s brother just gave me the hint that I should keep a little distance from Keith. You never know about these Christians, they said, they may turn out to be the sepents under the flower. I felt bad about them, look at how Keith listened to the story of Quran with such patience, while us Muslims, we cant even stand them. I’m feeling a little down today, probably will miss therapy tomorrow. At least Daud Khan is not like them, I mis judged him, he is a man of honor. I wish I could go to Mohammad Khel again very soon.

To be continued…

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