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Things Pakistani Girlfriends Say

November 3, 2013


In all my years (only 20, though I love to use the expression) I have never encountered the situation I’m going to write about here. These facts have been described here after years of bragging and boasting of my friends, making me jealous of them having strong ties to the members of the opposite gender, being of the same age group and not amongst the family. And sometimes these strong ties were complimented by involvement of their feelings making them even more affectionate, and naturally making the ratio and quality of their boasts and brags even higher. All in a nutshell, they had girlfriends, I didn’t.

Love does make a man stupid, I am a witness o this fact. As soon as my friends got involved in their relationships, they started acting strange and the things they boasted about fulfilled the requirement of humor for my mind for at least a day.

For instance a very close friend of mine used to giggle as he boasted, “Usman, you just can’t imagine how good it feels when she asks me for something, like the other day she asked me to send her some mobile credit. She thinks so big of me, she asks this favor every day. She gives me the opportunity to serve her every day :’) I’m so in love”

Most of the friends I come in contact with are Pakistanis and the one’s having girlfriends are almost all in a relation with the members of the same nationality. They tell me the weirdest things their girlfriends say and they think it’s perfectly alright in fact they regard them as cute. Some of them are:

  • The strange names they give to their counter parts like, ‘Jaaaaaaanuuuuuu Babbbbbyyyyyyyyy’ ‘Melaaaa Shonaaaaa’ ‘Koooochiiiiiii Koooooooooooo’ ‘Cocomooooooooo’ cuppycakeeee’.


  • The strange jealousy they have with a female colleague of yours. “Who was she?” o just an old class fellow, “May she rot in the deepest dungeons of hell with Beelzebub”



  • You just got hit by a car, and she says, “Oh my God, Are you all right? What happened” and after making sure that you’re completely alright or slightly injured she utters, “What the hell were you thinking, why are you so careless, what would I do without you, you could’ve died, you don’t care about me, I know its all because I’m ugly and you don’t love me anymore”


  • She texts, “hey baby” it’s perfectly fine. You text “Hello honey” she replies, “Haya karo thoree, auqat men raho apni” (have some shame and stay in your limits)


  • Her birthday, you give her a chanel wrist watch, a teddy bear, a pack of rochers and a big birthday cake. Your birthday, a cheap dairy milk chocolate and trust me, some of my friends say it is the best gift ever as she gave the chocolate with love. Yeah right, Can love be cheaper than this.


  • You forget to text her in the morning at the usual 7 AM, you realize this at 7:15 and you text her, “Good morning honey”, the reply devastating, “Go Die”.


  • Her dog dies, the result, you are comforting her for the next week. Your uncle dies, the result, same.


Once again I would like to mention here that these experiences have nothing to do with me, they are just some of the things my friends tell me. Yet I have not experienced the feeling of love except for when I hear some thing frying in the kitchen or when I see my brother getting out of the car with an extra soda in his hand.


But this girlfriend affair, I’m saved by the nature till now and the ones who are beginning to enter this strange covalent bond, I’d warn them that please, stay away as long as you can.


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One Comment
  1. Taimoor permalink

    lol at cocomoo haha

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