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That day I got HIGH!

November 7, 2013

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My blood is pure, I have never ever touched a drug or alcohol my entire life. That didn’t stop my friends though, some of them drink a lot but luckily for me, uptill now I have had the sense to avoid such disgraces to the society. From the time I gained my senses for the first time, thanks to my parents, I have never fantasized about getting high or drunk. I never even felt the desire to look ‘COOL’ as people say when they are high or drunk. The event I’m about to mention here is somewhat close to getting high, most of the folks won’t consider this getting high, but then again I have no intentions to fulfill their standards.

 

I was in Karachi, at a cousin’s wedding, when I saw a Paan with tobacco in it, being in my reach. Occasionally I enjoy a sweet Paan, but one with tobacco in it, I have never tried. In this part of Sindh, Pakistan it is customary to serve a Paan after a meal in such gatherings as a wedding, and people in the same area tend to add tobacco to their Paan, as they are used to the sensation.

 

For starters, a Paan is a preparation of betel leaf combined with areca nut, and has many variations. Adding tobacco to it is its original form as the early consumers of Paan used it as a stimulant.

 

So I was at this wedding and the waiter out of the blue pops from my side with a dish in his hand asking if I would like a Paan, I asked if it had tobacco in it. He replied yes sir, and I although making a frowned expression accepted it and placed it in my mouth. I wouldn’t lie, the first taste I got from it was absolutely disgusting. I felt a piercing feeling in my throat and I was about to spit it out when an esteemed cousin of mine said, dude you have to keep it in your mouth for a while. And I though yeah okay what the hell. After some 40 -50 seconds I got up and boy did I get up, there was a song playing named balam pichkari the lyrics went like:

 

Itna mazaaa ku aaraha haii”

(why does it feel so good)

 

And I started laughing, the reason being nothing. I went up to the stage where the groom was sitting with his newly wedded bride. Now at a Pakistani wedding at least, this is the most privileged and the most important location at a wedding as it is the attraction of all the eyes and gets all the protocol. So I went up to the groom, a fairly close first cousin of mine, and said, bro you have got to try this tobacco Paan, its amazing, trust me. And he eye balled me with anger as the photographs were being taken at that time and I was blocking the view. I was wearing a brown 3 piece suit, hair gelled back and a weird expression with a red fluid dripping from one side of my lips.

 

I realized the gravity of the situation and I went off the stage. I’m not proud of it but I had 3 more of them that night. Apart from the first one, they did not taste good. I came home and slept that day. The next function of the same wedding had to take place in Islamabad so we flew back to attend the Walima ceremony. And that is where the climax of this ‘getting high’ phenomenon took place. My uncle, the father of the groom, had arranged a Paan wala himself, inspired from the event at Karachi I guess. So there he was, at his stall, serving Paans to every one, but the different thing about this one was that there was 3 types of tobacco, sitting in 3 pots at the table. I panicked as I saw this because it isn’t considered decent to have a Paan with tobacco, and there was a lot of crowd at the stall. So I walked up to it, asked for a Paaan and without looking at the pots, I grabbed a fistful from each of them as the guy gave me a Paan wrapped in the paper. Now I went out quickly and placed the tobacco in the Paan and gobbled it. Turns out, I found out instantly that the Paan is supposed to have a very little amount of tobacco in it and I added more than ten times the tobacco an addicted person takes.

 

So I went back in, and I was floating, literally. First of all, I went into the lobby of the hotel and sat there for 20 minutes before realizing that I was sitting with my legs on the couch in a 5 star hotel, and scratching my head constantly. And as I further realized that my phone had been ringing for the past 5 6 minutes and I had no idea. I got up quickly and took the elevator to the 1st floor and found out that the wedding hall was in the basement. So I took the long ride back to the basement and went to the men’s hall. From the corner of my eye, I judged I was standing with my cousin. I grabbed his hand and said “dude, I put way too much tobacco in my Paan” and as I looked at him, it was a respectable looking stranger in a suit with a confused expression on his face saying, “I’m sorry?” I hurried my way out to the women’s hall and found my brother who was calling me on my cell phone earlier. By then every thing was normal. But I was told later that my cousins and my brother saw me wandering around the hall with a funny walk.

 

That was the last time I ever tried this strange phenomenon and I have sworn to myself that I will never try this again, and I assure you that it is not worth trying.

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2 Comments
  1. Waleed Ahmed Usmani permalink

    hahaha , lol ….

  2. That is hilarious. I have often wondered why anyone goes to the effort to smoke cigarettes. Because it does take effort. You get the weird sensations that you have described here, but you also feel sick from the smoke itself. The only reason anyone would consider continuing after the first effort, I would guess, is to look cool. Because it is awful.

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