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Waiting for Mrs. Snake

August 21, 2015

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Growing up in an orthodox Pakistani family, I’ve heard all the superstitions regarding the snake. It seemed a little exciting to me that snake is the only animal that either should not be meddled with, and if encountered by any chance, should be killed brutally and should be tortured in a manner that the eyes of the poor soul should be disintegrated and squeezed. The reason behind this torture, the source of which is some local folklore among the kids, some movies based on that folklore and finally the myths of mysterious things happening to the persons who neglected these tales, is that when a snake is killed, the lens of the snake’s eye freezes and it entails the image of the last scene that was witnessed by the snake before being killed. Therefore, the poor mourning Mrs. Snake swears revenge on the person who is seen in the image of the last scene of the snake’s eye when she visits to pay her last respects to the dead. Now after the revenge as been sworn, the myth describes that there are two modes in which Mrs. Snake will attack the murderer. The first way is quite understandable, by finding out where the person lives either by following him home or by using special contacts and finally when encountered, by killing him instantly. The second way is a little artistic as the myth suggests and requires a vivid imagination. Apparently when Mrs. Snake turns a full 100 years of age, she has an ability to transform her shape into a normal woman, with stunning beauty. She then traps the murderer (who is obviously alive) in the trap of her beauty and he obviously falls in love with her and then, she first breaks his heart and then kills him and hence completes her revenge. Surprisingly, a lot of people are a victim of these superstitions and one would be surprised to know that the second mode of revenge is more widely accepted to be true.

Thus begins my tale of misery where I encountered a snake. This is a real story and I have evidence to support it. Almost a year ago, my family decided to spend an afternoon in our under construction farmhouse in the vicinity. We purchased the land some 2-3 years ago. It is at the edge of a hill and is quite beautiful as one can view a big portion of the city and the mountains from it. So there I was, finding some wood to create a fire, hiking towards the top of the hill. When I got back from the adventure, my brother told me that they had spotted a snake of considerable size, almost 2 meters, who was sitting coiled up on a rock inside the walls of the farmhouse boundary. He forbade me to go near it but as D. H. Lawrence, curiosity got the better of me and I went there as soon as they started to make a fire. It really was a beautiful creature, mud colored, sitting all coiled up on a rock just minding his own business. I needed to take a closer look, God knows why, so I got near it. I thought it was dead as it was not moving at all. In order to prove my hypothesis, I found a long stick, probably a branch of a tree and poked the snake. To my surprise, it was not dead. It was not even close on being dead. In fact it was a lot brisk in reaction than I had ever imagined. It instantly leaped towards me but as it was the month of December, he was in semi hibernation mode and was out of touch, so he missed. He was a bit lazy to go back to his original position and I, totally in self defensive mode, found the window of opportunity. I instantly grabbed the spade and hit him right in the middle of the body from the sharper side. He started coiling instantly and I could see that he was dying and I had done a hellish thing. As I had hit him with a great force, the spade struck the rock and made a big THUD of a noise which attracted the attention of my family members. They saw the spade in my hand, the smile on my face, the comfort by which I was standing really close to the location where the snake was, they knew instantly that the deed had been done. From the very stick I was poking the snake playfully with; I picked up his corpse and threw him outside the boundary towards the uninhabited part of the hill.

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It was then when my family members started reminding me of all the superstitions and the mysterious happening that had taken place after the murder of a snake. My mother, in particular, kept reminding me for a good hour or so about Mrs. Snake. I was inclined to go to the place where I threw the corpse when my mother finally decided to go and pay her respects and I literally freaked out. The snake was almost split in half and was still coiling and moving. I got really scared and the superstitions got the better of me. I took a rock and threw it over the snake which ceased its movement forward as the rock was too heavy. I went back inside and got the spade by which I defended myself previously.

After that I don’t know why I turned into a psychopath as I tortured it according to how I was supposed to, as suggested by the myths. In the end, my mother reminded me of Mrs. Snake that she may have already seen the eyes of the dead snake and may have stored the image of my face in her memory when I had thrown him in the uninhabited area unattended. She reminded me as to how Mrs. Snake will now take the form of an extremely beautiful woman and approach me. She then warned me to be aware of all the beautiful women that will try to get close to me without any reason. Lucky for me, there are no beautiful women in my life yet and none have approached me so far without any valid reason so far and not even one has ever tried to get close to me with or without any reason.

*sighs sadly, waiting for you Mrs. Snake, where you at…*

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From → Biography, Humor

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